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This letter is a mixture of fact and fiction. The electoral figures and results are all factual.

Dear Nicola,

The Union would like to place on record our deep appreciation for the SNP strategy of BOTH VOTES SNP.

Where would we be without your help and support?. A lot poorer for a start, with fewer MSP’s, offices closed across the land, staff made redundant. Yes your strategy is the best news we could hope for. Particularly when you are planning to do so again even after that troublemaker Alex Salmond has launched that Alba Party thing. You know that Party we are all working together to stop, Unionist and SNP alike, to keep them out the debates and out the MSM altogether ( unless any of us have a bad news story about them, nudge, nudge). Who would have thought it, here we have all this common interest? Who says the Scots can’t work together Nicola, Ruth, Douglas, Humza, Murdo all working together, marvelous?

Let’s look what is being achieved. Well from an SNP Point of view, you guys must be enjoying being the darlings of the Brit Media. Bet you never saw that coming. It’s a luv in on the Record, Daily Mail, Herald for you Nicola. You know something, I don’t think it’s got anything to do with the 3million pounds of taxpayers money you gave the media, no I think it’s a genuine appreciation of how good you are at staving off calls for a referendum. 2023 is it now? Can’t be easy, but the cult idea was a good one, a set of young attack dogs to set on anyone who demurs from your announcements. How you  get away with insisting there can’t be a referendum because of the pandemic, as part of your election campaign , while everyone goes to the polls next month is just fabulous. General Election no health risk, Indy Ref lethal to organise during a pandemic. Where do you get public health advisors like that? 

If Boris tried that line there would be a Revolution but you can pull it off no problem. The nodding dogs behind you just all nod in unison. Good enough for Nicola. Good enough for them. Just keep the salaries rolling in. We can all agree about that!

Let’s have a run through the regions, see what happened last time and what we can expect this time, nearly said all things being equal, but there is no way that will happen as long as you guys stick with the both votes SNP DEAL.

Let’s start with the West of Scotland. It was a cracker,  the SNP got 136,000 list votes. It was NOT enough under the rules, our rules, to win you a single seat. No instead 72,000 votes elected 3 Labour MSP’s and another 72000 votes elected 3 Tory MSP’s. For good measure just 17000 votes elected  1 Green MSP. Union 6 Indy 1?

Was much the same in Mid Scotland and Fife 128000 SNP LIST VOTES was not enough to win you even a single seat instead 73000 Tory list votes elected 4 TORY MSP’s and 51000 Labour list votes elected 2 Labour MSP’s as well. Less than 18000 Green list votes secured 1 Green MSP into the bargain Union 6 Indy 1?

Over in the Lothians 118,000 SNP LIST VOTES elected ZERO SNP MSP’s. It was a tight race with the real votes, you know the ones that have not been devalued until they are worthless. 75000 Tory list votes elected 3 TORY MSP’s, 68000 Labour List votes elected 2 Labour MSP’s while the Greens won the jackpot with only 34000 votes electing two Green MSP’s. You guys really deserve a lot of praise for the tolerant way you are happy to see all your votes binned. Not sure we could do it! Union 5 Indy 2?

Over to Scotland’s biggest city now Glasgow. Here 110,000 SNP LIST VOTES failed to elect a single MSP. ZERO again, sorry but that’s the rules. Labour had a field day here 59000 Labour list votes elected FOUR LABOUR MSP’s. 30000 TORY LIST VOTES ELECTED TWO TORY MSP’s and 23000 Green List votes returned 1 GREEN MSP. Union 6 Indy1?

Central Scotland next. This is a really good one. 129,000 SNP LIST VOTES DELIVERED Zilch, nada, zero again.I must say this was my favourite because 67000 Labour list votes DELIVERED 4 Labour MSP’s and a mere 43000 delivered 3 TORY MSP’s. I hope you noticed that the combined vote of Tory and Labour here was LESS than the SNP total but it delivered 7 Unionist MSP’s  while the pro Indy side got Zero. Did I mention this to you ? Both votes SNP FOLK ARE GREAT, JUST GREAT! Union 7 Indy 0

To the North East now. Great performance with 137,000 SNP list votes being shown to be worthless electing ZERO SNP MSP’s. Never mind it can be cold up here and the ballots kept the fire going while we counted the real votes. That result delivered 86,000 list votes for the Tories, electing 4 TORY MSP’s, 39000 Labour list votes electing 2 Labour MSP’s and 18000 Lib Dem list votes electing a single Lib Dem MSP.So they need to be grateful for your strategy as well. I think it’s fair to say the Union gratitude for your both votes SNP STRATEGY is genuinely all Party. Union 7 Indy 0

Now we are closing in on the really exciting bits of the country where the UNION are confident we can make some GAINS on the list. Let’s take Highland first. Last time 81000 SNP List votes elected 1 SNP LIST MSP. 44000 Tory list votes elected 3 TORY MSP’s, 23000 Labour list votes elected 2 Labour MSP’s and just 14000 votes for the Greens elected 1 Green MSP. Can’t see that happening this time. Current constituency polling shows you way up on last time, so we have this Region down as one of the two where the Union expects to make list gains! How exciting is that? We confidently expect to reduce the SNP TO ZERO ON THE LIST and bring you into line with the rest of the country. Union 5 Indy 1 Indy? 1

Finally we arrive at South Scotland. Last time 120000 SNP list votes elected 3 SNP LIST MSP’s. 101,000 Tory List Votes elected 2 Tory MSP’s and 56000 Labour list votes elected 2 Labour list MSP’s. Union 4 Indy 3

Personally I wouldn’t want to change this as I recognise that you need one region where you can point too, and show some SNP LIST SUCCESS IN. It’s important and I love how you use this South Scotland list success to justify the two votes strategy everywhere else, when we all know there is not a snowball’s chance in hell of it working anywhere else. My fear is that the constituency polling could put at least two of those list seats in jeopardy, maybe all three. What would we do then at the next contest? It’s a big worry. If you guys could just pull back your efforts in a few constituencies down there it might allow the status quo to continue. Too much to ask? Consider it Nicola at least, you might see the advantages.

Now if there is anything we can do to help don’t hesitate to ask. We recognise this current system could fall apart if voters catch on to the very dangerous ALBA party message which exposes how vulnerable the Union would be under, if voters, especially your voters, start realising the huge advances that could be made if they were to swop to Alba with their list votes. We must work hard to make sure that never happens. No worries about the BBC they know what to do. Whatever you do don’t mention UKIP, that Farage was all over our screens when he didn’t have a seat anywhere. Don’t worry we can say that was an English decision made in London. Nothing to do with BBC JOCKLAND..

For these reasons I am marking this message top secret and putting our top agents in charge to make sure it reaches you safely and doesn’t fall into the hands of those pro Indy bloggers, you know the ones Salmond has set up as the NEW MEDIA GROUP. THAT WOULD BE A DISASTER.

LETS BOTH LIE LOW UNTIL THIS IS OVER AND WE CAN CONTINUE AS BEFORE. THAT’S WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. The UK government endorsement for whatever job you are looking for at the UN is in the bag. Just let us know when. Not too soon I hope.



PS IF YOU ARE EVER ASKED ABOUT THIS COMMUNICATION I would suggest you answer that you cannot recall ever receiving it. That usually works, certainly has done in the past. Record nothing!

I am, as always

Yours for Scotland

Please note the scores in bold relate to the last election in 2016. Current polling suggests the SNP have little chance of even winning four list seats across the entire country on the 6th May.

PLEASE share and tweet this article we need everyone to know how futile voting SNP on the list truly is. The attempt here is to make it a fun read and therefore more effective than bare statistics.

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  1. It may have been done in humour but sadly the seat detail is factual.
    “Both votes SNP to elect Unionists” What a plan!

    Liked by 9 people

  2. Somehow we need to get 8% vote share minimum on the List.

    If that is achieved uniformly across the country then there is representation in every one of the 8 regions i.e. 8 ALBA MSPs.

    So it’s 8% for 8 MSPs across 8 regions.

    Is there time to get that message across?

    Liked by 7 people

    1. In some it is as low as 5.6% and many it is 6 to 6.1% for one seat in the region

      E.g Central the 7th. Seat was won by the Conservatives with less than 5.7%
      Mid Scotland and Fife 7th. Seat was won with 6.1%
      NE Scotland the Cons took the 7th. Place Seat with 5.6% (LD with 6%)

      Liked by 5 people

      1. I’ve posted this on the “All Yes Voters And Indy Voters the Only Indy Party” (catchy title eh?) Facebook page. Whether they’ll read it or delete it is entirely their affair.
        Differing media sources are suggesting ALBA is either tanking or gaining traction. I think it’s the latter
        I think the SNP as a party is obliged to promote the 1&2 mantra but the reality is a lot of the membership realise it’s futile (when they get very few seats for close on a million second votes then, really what’s the point?)

        Liked by 2 people

  3. When a million SNP votes can deliver the SNP no seats you know it makes sense.

    And of course we don’t want a super majority only a simple one. So let us campaign to elect more unionists. You know it makes sense.

    Me I’ve got no sense. I don’t listen to Nicola. Im going to vote Alba. I don’t want a million votes wasted. And I don’t want to maximise the number of unionists either. Oh how Nicola must detest blogs like this setting out the electoral arithmetic.

    And therein lies a big point. A big big point. A lot of voters do not understand the voting system.

    They do not understand how you can as was the case in the last election give 953,600 votes to the SNP and get 4 seats, whilst 956,000 votes secure 45 unionist seats. Working the electoral numbers region by region explains that, and when you do explain that to voters, they actually then understand, with the typical comment that they understand now exactly why a second regional vote for Alba makes absolute sense.

    This is the message we need to get across. Today Saturday and onwards we should be out in the thoroughfares promoting safely the electoral arithmetic. This is important because next Thursday the postal votes come out and people who get postal votes by and large return their votes immediately upon receipt of them.

    Any campaigning in the last three weeks is therefore lost on early postal voters. Their vote has gone. It has been fixed. This of course was not missed by the undemocratic Nicola Sturgeon who about three weeks ago wrote to all SNP supporters to encourage them to secure postal votes, knowing that in promoting SNP 1 and SNP many would return their votes before they had an opportunity to hear alternative campaign message.

    And this weekend, all campaigning has been stopped due to the death of the Duke of Edinburgh. Life goes on as you would imagine, one man’s death changes little, but campaigning for the Scottish Parliament election, no that has to be suspended.

    Anyway, the postal votes will be out on Thursday, and sadly, undemocratically too, these votes will lock in voting up to three weeks before the end of campaigning. But Nicola and her team knew that. That’s why getting the electoral arithmetic out is so important.

    Liked by 13 people

  4. As straightforward an explanation of sturgeon’s yoonery as I have read.

    I would like to point out to all the SNP MSPs towing the party line – this wont be forgotten or forgiven.

    I think ALBA will reach double figures regarding MSPs ( I hope it is much more than that). But it could be exceptionally good if the yoon handmaidens in the SNP told the truth to their members.

    Liked by 8 people

    1. I am confident of 15% and hoping for 20% plus. The unionist media went hard on the first polls to try and stop momentum building. As Alex said in his speech “Remember the grassroot movement of the Summer of 2014”

      The YES movement will deliver the Supermajority.

      Liked by 6 people

      1. A Wings over Scotland poll from May 2020 posed the hypothetical question of how people might vote on the Regional List if an ‘Alex Salmond Party’ were to be established. This survey indicated that just under a quarter of folk would either definitely (12%) or more likely than not (14%) vote for it in the event that option was available.


        So, yes, the potential is definitely there for 15% and higher.

        We need to get the message across that ALBA is led by AS and that there are really experienced old ex-SNP hands and true Indy supporters like Kenny Macaskill as candidates.

        Liked by 6 people

  5. I’m not interested in Alba because of the quirks of the electoral system. I’m interested in them as a party focused on independence. I went off the SNP when I got to reading that those at the top attempted to stitch up Salmond, were comfortable with the status quo, and all the other weirdness and corruption spilling out of the leadership that is obvious once it’s pointed out.

    I went off the Greens when they got shot of their one performer, Andy Wightman.

    That left me scratching my head: I’d considered AFI, but Alba seems the best chance I have of being represented by an MSP that wants independence without prioritising other rabbitholes.

    Right now it looks from polling that they won’t get elected in my region, but I don’t think that matters for my vote. I’m interested in Alba on principle as the most independence-focused party.

    Liked by 9 people

  6. 👏👏👏👏👌✊🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
    Brilliantly put Iain. The chains holding our country back are exposed, and those keeping us in them.

    Liked by 8 people

  7. A lot of ‘Jiggery Wokerie’ references in your letter to our middle-manager leader.
    She will not be amused.
    If delivered by hand, remember the protocol and ‘Curtsy’ and then run for your life.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I sincerely hope when all the other parties are busy in Holyrood on Monday paying homage to one of our overlords that the Alba party hit the streets running.
    I’m not overly pleased that they have suspended campaigning for even one day and I know there those who say they would be vilified by the media if they hadn’t, well I remember a certain Mr Alex Salmond saying there’s no such thing as bad publicity, at least they would be getting some publicity and the people of Scotland would actually get to know that there is an alternative party out there.
    And let’s face it could any publicity thrown at them for not bowing down to the establishment be any worse that what little they’ve had so far.
    And let’s not forget that the majority of Scots are in favour of a republic.

    Liked by 7 people

  9. This is an observation of mine, the union and of course Holyrood parties are desperate to do down the new kid on the block, the ALBA party. We’ve had reports of a small percentage of votes for ALBA, and that their candidates aren’t up to scratch, even the SNP said good riddance to some of them, more in anger than anything else, because secretly they will miss them.

    ALBA has also been shut out by the English owned media, because if truth be known they are afraid of the party and what it stands for and so they should be. I think and some may not agree that come the 7th of May the ALBA party will have done far better than any of us could’ve hoped for.

    The only way the establishment can do our hopes for ALBA down is if they tamper with the postal votes which is a of great concern to me.

    I wonder if ex-Tory Peter Lilley and IDOX ae still involved with the Scottish ballot collecting system.

    Liked by 7 people

  10. Iain, you don’t know about the redacted section in the bit about the South of Scotland (/sarcasm).

    “It’s a big worry. If you guys could just pull back your efforts in a few constituencies down there it might allow the status quo to continue. ”

    Straight after that bit they said.

    “You could throw Joan McApline under a bus. After all she’s a thorn in your side re GRA and given the gerrymandering on the list, she might not get in there either”.

    Then it goes straight back to the unredacted sentence

    “Too much to ask? Consider it Nicola at least, you might see the advantages.”

    I was lucky enough to see the original before the Crown Office got to it. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  11. South of Scotland

    Why did the SNP not put Joan, the current MSP, No.1 on the list.
    Why is a Woke supporting candidate No. 1? A candidate who used self ID as disabled to do so, a position engineered by a Woke NEC ruling”

    Get Joan in by voting SNP in the constituency.

    I do not like the BLACKMAIL to gain my vote and the manipulation of the list Ranking is exactly that. Vote Woke or Joan is at risk in position 2.

    This is a win/win for the SNP leadership. Remove Joan and promote a supporter of the Wokerati.


  12. I think Sturgeon may have serious competition from Sarwar as the Union keeper.

    Sarwar’s family come from the Punjab which was one of the most anti British pro Independence areas of India/nascent Pakistan. Following the Punjab riots of 1907 British punitive/ repressive measures hastened the Indian secessionist movement. Sarwar seems to be blissfully unaware of this heritage.

    Meantime- The Spectator have allowed Jack McConnell ‘s former advisor to make spurious allegations against Salmond’s (he clearly has to be judged by some yet to be defined natural law since positive law keeps finding him innocent) propriety which, Sturgeon, according to Dalgety, must have been aware of, was in doubt. Dalgety of course fails to mention Lord McConnell ‘s actual infidelities. Presumably because his admission of infidelity smoothed his way to accession to be first minister- according to the Guardian- 2003.

    You really can’t make this hypocrisy up.

    Liked by 5 people

  13. there are around 46 MPs at westminster bringing in money for the party. it is easier to run a devolved administration than have to run an independent country you can blame westminister for everything. Also with a husband in the party the last thing is to change things, Referendum pushed to 2025 since 2924 is a westminster election. Funding both in a year is a stretch. Then with 2026 scottish election can push it back to 2028 then later.


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