A Demon approaches the Devil and says.”Dark lord, Two men from Glasgow have been sent here. What should be done with them?”The Devil says. “Glaswegians? Their kind and are normally very friendly, helpful and honest, so we do not see many such men in my dark domain. Hang them in a cage over the lake of fire for now and I shall check on them later.”

But when the Devil flew up to the cage to check on the Scotsmen, he found them happily lounging around with their shirts off.”What is the meaning of this?” The Devil cried. “You’re supposed to be in torment!”The Glaswegians looked surprised. “Naw.” They said. “It’s pure quality taps aff weather here man. It’s no drab an’ dreech like Scotland, you know that way?”

Fuming, the Devil flew to the great thermostat of Hell and cranked it all the way to the top. And the next day, the temperature was so high that even the Demons were sweating, the stones of hell were melting and the flames from the lake of fire were leaping higher than ever before.So the Devil was surprised when he visited the Scotsmen and found that they had somehow procured plastic lawn furniture and a couple of bottles of Buckfast tonic wine.Raising a glass to the Devil, one of the Scotsmen said. “Hey big man, If I’d known it was so lovely an warm doon here, I’d’ve done a whole lot more sinning! Weather’s always miserable in the Gorbals. Always freezin’ ma nuts off, ye know?”

I see.” The Devil replied, smiling though clenched teeth. “Your dismal country has given you a great love of heat. The hotter it is, the happier you are. Well, we’ll see about that.”So he flew to the great thermostat of Hell once more, but this time, he turned it all the way down.

The next day, the lake of fire was frozen solid for the first time, sinners were frozen in blocks of ice and Demons huddled in corners for warmth, their teeth chattering.But when the Devil visited the Scotsmen, he found them jumping for joy, tearfully cheering. “Scotland! SCOTLAND!!!”The Devil’s jaw dropped. “What? Why? How? I burn you and you are happy! I freeze you and you celebrate! What is wrong with you?”One of Glaswegians turned back and said……”Is it no Feckin’ obvious Big Man? Hell’s frozen over this means Scotland’s won the World Cup!

My Message

I hope you enjoyed this joke. I am going to be on holiday until the end of September, the first I have had since November 2019. I will post the odd joke over the period but will only post political commentary stories if it rains and I am bored or something truly important takes place. Enjoy your break I intend to enjoy mine.

Best Wishes

Yours for Scotland

55 thoughts on “JUST A JOKE TODAY

    1. The joke made me laugh. Thanks for that.

      anniefraethehills – you got more of a response than I did. I haven’t received so much as an automated response to my emails to my MSP, ‘Justice’ Minister Humza Yousaf on the subject of Craig Murray.

      Liked by 6 people

  1. Superb joke, Iain …

    Can I just suggest that while you are on holiday you have a look at the new Amazon Prime Video series, Weegies.

    Yes, that’s correct… Weegies

    It’s hilarious. Check out the trailer… https://youtu.be/H13Ybp2b9E0 … The code word is Gooch.

    Enjoy a fantastic break. Respect.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Good joke Iain made me laugh, nice start to the day. Off you go and enjoy your holiday, you sure have earned it.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Apologies for getting all serious, but I note that debate btl on Wings has degenerated a tad, with the powers of imaginative projection and/or nefarious intent combining to scare the already vaccine hesitant. So I was hoping that someone might care to post these btl, when appropriate.

    The BMJ link should kill two birds with one stone, as it not only points to the authoritarian threat of the Scottish government’s gender agenda, it also explains how vaccine passports would destroy the principle of equality in law.



    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha ha ha! 😀 That made me laugh out loud! Thank you!

    Enjoy your break, sir! You’ve more than earned it! Just relax and don’t worry about anything. It’s not like you need to be here to kick off any Independence campaign… :-/ Sorry!! Back to reality – Hope the weather is good for whatever plans you’ve made & that you’re able to enjoy your break to the max! We’ll miss your output, but

    See you when you get back! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. There is perhaps a darker side to Iain’s joke. The reality of colonialism always leaves a people and nation under-developed and under-performing, and therefore not anticipating much. It also leaves a people with a colonial mindset, which is a feeling of inadequacy, and inferiority; a colonised people are a people who do not expect to succeed, especially in a world in which they do not normally participate as an equal, never mind lead. Hence the notion that hell will freeze over before the Scots win anything.

    The Danes by contrast are no longer an occupied people and neither are they forced to discard their mither tongue in favour of an oppressor’s ‘superior’ language. The Danes do not need to wait on hell freezing over in order to raise their game. Their nation participates on the world stage as an equal people, equal to anyone, and any other nation, in sport as in the geo-political sphere.

    The Scots, on the other hand, almost seem to wonder why they are there, on the same pitch, whilst they are pushed into the lobby in their own land at cop26, and await the next instruction from the ‘administrative Power’.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. As Frantz Fanon said: “it is national liberation which leads the nation to play its part on the stage of history. It is at the heart of national consciousness that international consciousness lives and grows. And this two-fold emerging is ultimately the source of all culture.”

      Scotland therefore needs ‘national liberation’.

      Liked by 5 people

    2. Alf, I know you don’t like colonialism but the Faroese haven’t done too badly after being colonized by the Danes for so long.


  6. Had a wee laugh this morning reading this. In the car in the afternoon and onto the radio comes Elton’s ‘Rocket Man’…….”Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids,
    In fact it’s COLD AS HELL”
    Guess the Glesga guys would also enjoy a deep fried Mars bar!
    Enjoy your well deserved holiday Iain.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Here’s an even bigger joke.

    Food and drink export figures released today reveal that in the first half of 2021 exports to the EU slumped by over £2 billion or just over 27%. Ah the promised dividend – and the Scots framers and fishermen laughed.

    And in terms of the supermarkets the shelves lie pretty barren with shortages. And the Scots shoppers laugh again. Who needs full shelves.

    But then the beer ran short as pubs couldn’t serve folks favourite tipples. And they laughed again. chanting Nicola, Nicola, Nicola saved us, two votes SNP, one more mandate.Nicola saved us

    And when the furlough cash stops this month, the economy stutters further, and the future pension caps kick in, they’ll be more laughs. Who needs money they will cry!! – who needs money indeed!

    Ah who is like us. Poor but proud. No one mocks the jocks.

    Enjoy your holiday Iain. I see too that mucker Roddy MacLeod i( aka the Barrhead Loon ) is off on a holiday too, and going to be quiet. Dinnae forget us now lads.

    Liked by 4 people

  8. And here’s another barrel of good cheer as the first of five absolutely huge jackets for the Seagreen renewable wind project arrive in Nigg from the fabrication yard in the AUE.

    With 30 jackets being built in the UAE and another 84 in yards in China, we have certainly moved on.

    At least in the 70s and 80s after Scotland discovered North Sea Oil they at least built the rigs.

    Now nearly fifty years on with the discovery of off shore wind Scotland doesn’t even build the jackets.

    Contrast that with Dubai who are currently building these first 30 jackets.

    As one of the Trucial States gaining independence from the British protectorate, the AAE and Dubai has used its oil money wisely.

    Having created a world class airline, a thriving financial centre, a University city, and a manufacturing base including huge engineering fabrication facilities, Dubai now only generates around 8% of its GDP from oil.

    And so with the delivery of these first jackets this week the difference between Scotland and the UAE could not be more marked – where we don’t even manufacture our own kit but Dubai do.

    Ah well, we once built ships and another cause for good cheer and laughs all round.

    And all glory to Nicola Sturgeon and the team for another success story – not.

    Both votes SNP and one more mandate…… ho, ho, ho!

    Maybe Roddy will when he’s in Dubai take some photos of the other Scottish jackets under construction.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Aye Willie, and don’t forget ports as the critical enablers of world trade. Dubai Ports (DP World) are now one of the biggest global port operators also developing logistics free zones all over the globe. In fact, many of the major ‘offshore’ container and trade logistics hubs are actually located in former colonies which had colonial naval bases in strategic maritime locations – Dubai, Singapore, Salalah (Oman), Colombo, Malta, Gibraltar/Algerciras, Panama etc. Independence was needed for all of them to properly develop.

      I worked on the research to develop a similar container transhipment port at Scapa Flow in Orkney which the Maltese port operator wanted to run. This was for Transatlantic and intra-Europe/Baltic traffic as well as new TransArctic runs now starting, taking advantage of natural deep water (no dredging) to handle the bigger ships and helping ease bottlenecks and lack of capacity in congested North Sea Basin ports – which are all now struggling. The project was rejected by the UK-Scottish Gov, the latter’s policy being that major UK container port capacity should be concentrated in the already badly congested south-east of England.

      (Fergus Ewing/SG instead gave the Scapa Flow port/Lyness to the Pelamis wave machine research project which eventually went bust wasting £50m+)

      DP World and other global transhipment and logistics port examples demonstrate that only through independence can a colonial nation and its people really develop properly, whereas under colonialism you are always held back as well as ‘haud doun’ – and ‘out of the game’ as Memmi said.


      Liked by 7 people

      1. OT, but you might be interested in two bits of news I have recently come across, Alf, if you have not picked up on them already. If folk are still reading and adding to this conversation it will pass on the information to more people.

        Firstly, a few days ago the Scots Language Centre announced it would be publishing help for Scots speakers who, like myself, are not confident in writing Scots although they can speak and understand the leid. As I understand, this will not be an attempt to impose a particular speling convention on Scots, I think this is a welcome move which iIintend to study. After all, most Scots can understand Scots speakers from different areas, even if it takes a wee while to get tuned into the accent and a few unfamiliar words, so we should be able to cope with variations in the written form as well.

        Secondly, an SNP MP, Emma Harper, has proposed that the Scots language Cross Party Group be revived at Holyrood. I was a member of the original one in the early days of the Scottish Parliament (under the Labout/Libden Coalition, though lead by SNP Convenors) and enjoyed the often lively discussions thoug occasionally we got bogged down in technicalities, such as spelling. There were academics, writers, teachers and just ordinary folk like myself who were interested in the language for whatever reasons.

        These are both positive steps to reclaiming out own language and should be welcomed. They may well lead to a greater interest in our indigenous culture which has also been discouraged and denigrated by our uniglot Anglophone ‘colonial superiors’.

        Liked by 6 people

      2. There needs to be a far better understanding of the importance of a peoples language which is much more than a mere means of communication; our language is what gives us our national identity and national consciousness, and is critical in relation to the matters of sovereignty and colonialism, and hence oppression and inequality, and therefore also independence. Unfortunately this level of comprehension seems way beyond SNP MSPs and MPs to whom all they can think of doing is to create another cross party group.

        From :https://yoursforscotlandcom.wordpress.com/2021/08/29/determinants-of-independence-synopsis-and-strategies/

        “Scots Language Strategy

        A peoples’ naitural language or mither tongue is clearly far more important than a mere means of communication. A peoples’ language defines who they are and gives them their national identity and culture which forms the basis of national consciousness. Scotland’s cultural liberation, the protection of Scottish National identity, and the objective of equality in society, depends on a comprehensive Scots Language strategy. This strategy requires a Scots Language Act as an urgent priority.

        The Scots language should be made the national language of Scots and given authority as such. English should be seen as an ‘administrative’ language, not as a ‘superior’ language which facilitates the cultural domination of the Scottish people and enables their economic exploitation. A key requirement is to teach the Scots language in schools at all levels, and at universities, in addition to English. All peoples from other nations seeking to work in Scotland (or apply for citizenship post-independence) should be required to have an acceptable level of knowledge of the Scots language. This is especially important in education, in social institutions, and at higher managerial levels generally.

        A national Scots language strategy is therefore fundamental for equality and in lifting up a downtrodden and under-developed people and nation, to prevent their continued or future domination by another culture, and to protect and maintain thesovereignty of the Scottish people.”

        Liked by 4 people

  9. The way that I see things, the Scottish government simply hasn’t a clue about how to support the rule-of-law or democracy. The UN’s strategy for sustainability is centered on the “Right to Development”, which requires the empowerment of biological women. It also requires states to assist nations in becoming independent.

    Reflecting on the Right to Development from the Perspective of Global Environmental Change and the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development

    Liked by 4 people

  10. Our Right to Development is itself supported by our Right to Health, so I think it’s in all our best interests to make more assertive legal claims against Westminster’s tyranny. The British constitution specifically prohibits the majoritarian constitutionalism articulated by Brexit, so the Tories have broken Westminster’s moral claim to legal authority over Scotland. They have done so by denying Scotland a defensible legal identity, and the resulting legal capacity to make effective claims to legal rights.

    The essential role of law in achieving the health-related Sustainable Development Goals

    Liked by 2 people

    1. P.S. Our Right to Development assumes nations are independent and enjoy full control of, and benefit from, their natural resources and wealth. So it’s simply out of reach of Scots while we remain standing under Westminster’s racially informed authoritarianism.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. correction: the legal source from where the British constitution obtains legal force, and Westminster’s “legal” authority over Scotland, specifically prohibits English majoritarianism. This source is intentional Treaty law, which is outwith Westminster’s legal powers of interpretation.

      Liked by 4 people

  11. arayner1936
    As far as I understand things, Westminster’s legal authority to govern Scotland is drawn from international law (the Treaty of Union). So if Westminster refuses to acknowledge the source of its’ legal authority, i.e. the Treaty of Union, it’s unable to respect its’ legal obligations towards Scotland. Which most certainly do not include ignoring Scotland’s voice and the fundamental rights of Scots, in order to empower right-wing English nationalism.


    Liked by 2 people

  12. P.S. British constitutional practice evolved around English legal culture, as the Magna Carta provided the only ‘human rights law’ at the time. This is no longer the case, so it’s well past time Westminster learned to respect international law. Though there is little political intensive for it to do so, as Parliamentary sovereignty presents zero barriers to the satisfaction of England’s political and legal demands.

    United Kingdom Legal Research Guide

    Liked by 2 people

    1. correction: Parliamentary sovereignty also presents legal barrier to the satisfaction of England’s political and legal demands for a more egalitarian society, as Westminster’s institutional memory is distinctly stuck in the colonial era. Brexit indicates there is no institutional intention of acknowledging international law, nor the regulatory effect international human rights law has on democratic practice.


  13. I think that you can enjoy your much deserved holiday Iain, safe in the knowledge that it won’t be interrupted by Scottish independence!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Cameron, Scotland sadly is also a platform for poorly informed conspiracy theorists with more than a few agent provocateurs.

      No surprise that a quality blog like Wings can attract BTL comments not of the highest quality. But quality blogs, like Wings, or this one, can attract some most excellent commentary. And that spectrum makes them worthwhile, and very much why they are very popular

      As my wife, or was it someone else once said, you’ve got to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince.

      Liked by 2 people

  14. Apologies for making further comment, but I notice Your Man Ellis is traducing my contribution to the debate again. Which really isn’t on given he’s not got much of a clue. Though he does appear to be quite pathologically prejudiced against me trying to point folks towards the “Art of Law”. Anyway, here’s a couple of links I thought might prove instructive. The first from the Journal of the Royal Society of New Zealand, and the second from the Health and Human Rights Journal.

    Legality in times of emergency: assessing NZ’s response to Covid-19


    Liked by 1 person

  15. On 30th August 2021 here’s another joke.

    Across Europe’s covid hotspots Scotland tops utterly the poll in first and second place with the highest covid rates in all Europe – with Glasgow having 853 cases and Lanarkshire 749 cases per 100, 000.

    In fact Scottish regions scoop another 6 spots in the top twenty with NHS Fife coming in at 17th at 411 per 100,000 ( with UK average of 410

    And the joke. Well that’s easy.

    The Westminster traffic light system that unceremoniously on Monday at 4.00 am in the morning dumped Montenegro on the red list requiring arriving passengers to quarantine in a £2,285 ten day bargain quarantine hotel has a lower covid infection rate than Glasgow and Lanarkshire being third on the list.

    Sturgeon should thus be putting in quarantine all those leaving Glasgow or Lanarkshire.

    The place is a joke, Surgeon is a joke.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. If only Scots law had autonomy from Westminster, as it would then be able offer some protection to Scots against zoomer politicians in Westminster and Holyrood. As it is though, Scots law is being turned into a tool of social oppression to ensure Scotland’s voice is never heard on the international stage.

    Legality in times of emergency: assessing NZ’s response to Covid-19

    Liked by 1 person

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